We compare things to gain perspective. Considering the benefits of two competing products is a helpful way to determine which one to choose. If you compare yourself to another person’s accomplishments or qualities with the intent of using it to motivate yourself to make positive life changes, then the comparison is beneficial. However, in comparing ourselves to others, we often choose people who appear to be and have more, leaving us feeling defeated. This is especially true when we have experienced a loss, heartbreak, or massive disappointment.
It is said that comparison is the thief of joy, but I also believe it is the thief of confidence, happiness, and peace. Furthermore, it can keep you from reaching your full potential.
Here are some compelling reasons to stop comparing yourself with others:
- What you see is not reality. Rarely is our perception of another person’s life the entire picture. In this day and age of social media, it is easy to head into the mode of believing everybody else has what you do not, or what you have lost. During the years of my daughter Jamie’s addiction, it appeared to me that everybody else had the perfect daughter. It seemed as if everything about their lives was superior to mine. Once I adjusted my focus, I realized this truth – nobody has a perfect anything. My social media warning is this – lives lived out on social media may appear better than they really are. What you are comparing is likely, not reality.
- It destroys your confidence. While our lives are intertwined with those we encounter on our trip through life, we are supposed to be carrying out our individual missions. Spending excessive time in comparison mode will erode the self-confidence required to make yours as worthwhile as possible. There are enough things that beat us up in the confidence department (negative comments, betrayal, abuse, abandonment, our own thoughts, and words), that we don’t need to add another.
- Discounts your uniqueness. If we spend too much time comparing ourselves to another person, we wind up attempting to emulate them. Each of us has unique characteristics, abilities, and experiences for a reason. It should excite you that there is not one other person exactly like you on planet earth. Try to spend more time appreciating and approving of the one and only you, and far less time attempting to imitate somebody else.
- The only constant is change. Nothing stays the same forever. Just when you have your comparison chart completed, the person you are comparing yourself to has a major life change, or your circumstances shift. Life is constant motion, so you will exhaust yourself attempting to compare to an ever-changing dynamic.
- You might miss your destiny. Imagine for a moment that you reach the pearly gates of heaven only to learn that you completely missed out on your purpose. How would that make you feel? That thought might scare you, but hopefully, it will move you to action. What we focus on becomes magnified. Stare at our faults, and they become massive. Focus on another person and your image of their big life, and it becomes bigger, and you become smaller.
Your destiny is far too important to spend it distracted by comparison. You get one time around, so don’t allow comparison to steal your joy. Get excited about life. Stand up and embrace the one and only you.
Your Story Matters…Live It Courageously!
Your Story. Your Voice. Your Community
Valerie Silveira | Trauma Disruptor & Legacy Leader™ is an award-winning author of multiple books, workbooks, and journals to guide people worldwide through the path to freedom. Valerie is known as a woman of unwavering strength who, through the trauma and lessons of her daughter’s addiction and her senseless murder, along with her decades of leadership, empowers others to stand up and live courageously. Her books, workbooks, journals, and 9 Weapons of Hope™ provide hope and healing for life’s many challenges. For information on Valerie’s courses, books, and speaking programs, visit ValerieSilveira.com.