If You Can’t Stand for You, Stand for Someone


  • When we are down and lose our self-worth, it can be hard to stand for ourselves.
  • Eventually we must recognize our value and stand for ourselves.
  • But, in the beginning, find any reason to get you up off the mat.

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Hello, there. Today, I thought it might be a good idea for those of you who are finding it hard to stand up and fight for yourself to give you a little tip, a little hint, a little something, something that I did. One of the many things I did to get myself up off of the mat when I was really at my lowest point. When I was standing in my kitchen, telling my husband Rich, I don’t want to be here anymore. So I’m not talking so much about the actions that I took, that’s a whole lot of stuff. What I’m talking about is my inspiration, my reason. Now, sure, it would be ideal if our reason to get up was for ourselves, because we knew our value in this world.

We knew what we had to offer, but typically when we’re down on the mat, when we’re riding the roller coaster from hell and our beast is whispering in our ear and screaming in our face, we’ve got that black cloud hanging over our hearts, a little hard to do it for ourselves, right?

If that’s you please know that you can stand up and fight for whatever reason you want, whatever it takes to get you up off of the mat. For me, it was my son, Sean.

He was really the driving force behind my decision. And then my next decision and my next decision, because I got knocked down a lot of times on my way and wanted to quit a hundred times. Okay. I’m being generous, generous, I’m being nice.

I’m actually being really nice. It was far more than a hundred times. So that is whatever it takes for you. I didn’t feel like I had any value, honestly. I felt like the biggest loser. I felt like a failure at everything in life. I discounted everything good I’d ever done in my life, every accomplishment. For me, it just all got erased because I couldn’t save my daughter. And the harder it became, the worst I felt about me. I was really making it about me. Yeah, it’s understandable. My gosh, it’s my daughter.

My heart was aching and breaking, but I had to figure out how to be different because I didn’t think it was fair for my son, Sean, to lose his sister and his mom too.

I mean really? What kind of a role model was I being? That’s what I was showing Sean. That when life gets tough, you roll up in a ball and you quit. Now, let me make sure you understand. I was functioning, I was pretending, but he knew. I’ll bet if we could get him on here today, he would tell you that he knew. He could feel it. He could feel that I was different, that I was changing. And I didn’t want that. I didn’t want that for him. So he was the reason I thought, “You know what? I’m going to show him. I’m going to prove to him that it’s possible in your darkest days to stand up and fight.” So this may not apply to you.

But if it does, if you’re finding it hard to do this for yourself, it’s okay to do it for somebody else.

Now, I would say that a part of me did stand up and fight for Jamie too. But Sean was mainly the driving force. Along the way she did become inspired. And who knows if she hadn’t been murdered, if my demonstrating courage to her would have really been a key component in her making her own decision to get it clean, to stand up and battle her beast. Of course, we will never know that. But the point is, eventually now I stand for myself. And I stand for all of you and I continue to stand for Sean, I stand for my husband. But in the beginning I had to have somebody, something to cling to, and that’s what I chose. So I encourage you if you’re in that place right now where your self worth is in the toilet, find a reason outside of yourself.

And once you start fighting and battling and shedding shame and guilt and getting some of that confidence back, you will realize your value and you will begin to stand for yourself. Okay? That’s my message for you in this video. And I hope that you will subscribe so that you will get all the videos, you’ll know when we put a new one out. And again, like I say in all of these recent videos, please go to Valeriesilveira.com. I’d love to see you in my trauma disruptors community. It is outside of social media so we’re free from all the noise and distractions of a feed that just keeps going by and all the different people that are coming at you. It’s a private group.

And check out all my resources at Valeriesilveira.com. Get on my newsletter, because then you’ll find out about all of the other cool stuff that we have planned and we’ll have coming up. You don’t have to do this alone. Don’t feel like you have to do this by yourself, you don’t. It’s always easier. If you can link arms with somebody else, if you can look to another person, to other warriors who have gone before you, who are that glimmer of hope, that if they can do it then so can you. It’s time we disrupt trauma for good. Your story matters so we can’t afford to have you down on the mat. We need to have you standing strong and courageous and you are worth it.