5 Tips to Get You Out of The Pity Party
Hello there, friends. Valerie Silveira here with more resources to help you live courageously. Have you been feeling sorry for yourself? I get it. I felt sorry for myself for more than a decade. When all hell breaks loose or life just isn’t going the way you hoped, wished, or dreamed it’s easy to get into that mode of having a pity party, feeling sorry for yourself, feeling as if everybody else in the world has a better life than you do. I understand, but there really is only one way for you to get out of this pity party, out of this mode of feeling sorry for yourself and it’s for you to stand up and begin to make some changes. You have to take responsibility. It’s time for you to make some changes.
I know you can do this because I did it, as I said, after living in that pity party for more than a decade. Pity parties are kind of scary places because everybody at the pity party is pretty happy to see you and they don’t want you to leave because misery loves company. When you finally decide to go, it is going to be difficult because you have patterns. You have habits that you’ve created, so you’re going to have to work really hard to create some new habits, to set some things in motion. I want to give you five tips that will help you to begin to create better habits and to help you to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Tip number one is that everybody has a story. When we are in self-pity mode, it can seem as if everybody else has what we don’t have, that each life is far better than ours. The reality is that everybody has problems. Every single person on this planet has challenges, everybody has a story. The first thing for you to do is keep that in perspective because it will help you when you realize that you’re not the only one going through struggles.
The second tip is that there is no power in victim land, and I know that you want to be a powerful person. You want to take control, you want to be confident and courageous. There is no power down on that mat, feeling sorry for yourself. If you remember, first of all, these first two tips, one that everybody has a story, so you’re not the Lone Ranger and number two, there’s no power and you want to be a powerful woman or man.
The third tip, this is when you can really begin to create some good habits. This is to start to count your blessings or should I say to acknowledge, look for, find your blessings. When you’re feeling sorry for yourself, it can appear that you have zero blessings in your life, but indeed every single person has blessings. They are all around us if we’re willing to look for them.
Tip number four is to get outside of your story. When you’re stuck in the muck and the mire of your own story, it can just seem that things get worse and worse, or you’re absolutely stuck down on that proverbial mat unable to stand up. The more we focus on something, the more it magnifies. If you’re stuck focused on your problems, they are going to magnify or at least seem as if they’re magnifying, so get outside of your story. Go help somebody else. Use your story to reach out and assist another person in standing up. Be that hand up that another person is looking for and that you are in a unique position to be for them.
Tip number five is to have faith that things will change, but there is a caveat here. No matter how much faith you have, things are not going to probably change unless you change, so be mindful of that. Be willing to change. Have faith in God, have faith that he is opening doors and moving obstacles out of the way. Often, we will miss the entire process when we’re so stuck in our problems, and we can’t see any of the blessings like the last tip. It’s time for you to take control of the parts of your life that you can, and the one thing you can control is your attitude. Use these five tips to help you stop feeling sorry for yourself and to start living confidently.
Your Story Matters…Live it, Courageously.
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Valerie Silveira | Trauma Disruptor & Legacy Leader™ is an award-winning author of multiple books, workbooks, and journals to guide people worldwide through the path to freedom. Valerie is known as a woman of unwavering strength who, through the trauma and lessons of her daughter’s addiction and her senseless murder, along with her decades of leadership, empowers others to stand up and live courageously. Her books, workbooks, journals, and 9 Weapons of Hope™ provide hope and healing for life’s many challenges. For information on Valerie’s courses, books, and speaking programs, visit ValerieSilveira.com.