Getting Off the Roller Coaster From Hell


Getting Off the Roller Coaster From Hell

  • We would rather the Roller Coaster From Hell ride came to a stop.
  • We want someone to yank us off.
  • I found the key is to pull the emergency brake and get off!

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Hello there, fellow warrior, trauma disruptor. Do you ever feel like life is just one big roller coaster? And you know what? Before I really started to be dizzy, I’m not talking about ditzy. I’m talking about really dizzy, getting vertigo and things like that, I used to love riding roller coasters. So exhilarating. And you know what? In the best of times, life is still a roller coaster, right? I mean, there’s highs and lows and ebbs and flows and twists and turns. That’s called life.

So if you’re expecting for life to just be smooth sailing, I’m afraid you’re in for some serious disappointment because that’s not the way life works.

It’s ups and downs, and we got to ride them and when they’re down, we got to just figure out how to be our best and have that good mindset so we can not just endure, but learn when we’re having those lows. And hopefully, that’ll help us get out of those lows quicker. And then when we’re on the highs, be grateful for them and prepare ourselves because another low is coming. That’s just normal.

But sometimes out of nowhere, we get whacked over the head with one of life’s two by fours, one of the biggies. And maybe for you, it’s been a bunch of biggies. I know for me, I’ve had a bunch of biggies. If I really go … And you know what’s funny? I have talked so much in recent years about Jamie’s addiction and then of course, her murder and that being so big. And of course, being a mother, that is big. I don’t know what could get any bigger. But when I started to go back even to my early childhood, it was like wow, I had a lot of biggies in my life. And I think that most people, by the time you get to a certain age, have had a few.

So life’s two by fours can be something from childhood. It can be one after the next, it could be a period of time, and it could be those things like that knock on the door when my daughter was murdered or the time she was shot 12 years and 12 days prior to that, when she was shot the first time. I know that’s a weird thing to say, but she was shot twice. When I had to get that news.

Sometimes they’re just those big things that you just go what the hell? How is this even real? How is this possible? How is this happening?

Those things that break your heart. It could be a divorce. It could be an illness. That’s a huge challenge. It could be somebody betrayed you, a friendship that ended, the death of somebody you love. You know what? I mean, it can even be sometimes we get ourselves down just because we’re putting all of these little things together and then assuming that our life is just one big shit show, right? I mean, and sometimes it can be, but often it’s just our way of looking at things, whatever it is, however you got here. You start riding what I call the roller coaster from hell.

And you don’t have to compare, don’t compare beasts. Really. Don’t get into that game where you’re comparing your beast to somebody else’s. It doesn’t do you any good, because if theirs seem a lot bigger, then you might discount yours and not give yourself the grace that you got something here you got to deal with. Or if they’re smaller, it can make you insensitive to other people. So let’s not do any comparing. Whatever it is you’re dealing with, riding that roller coaster from hell, here’s the thing about these roller coasters, they’re not like those fun ones.

You know the fun ones where you get on and you go through this and you ride up that. We might have a little scary, exhilarating moment, but at some point after a couple of minutes, it’s going to come to the end. They’re going to make you get off. Okay? You don’t even have to make a decision to get off, they’re going to make you get off, right? The car is going to stop, the security bar comes up, they usher you off, they show you the exit, have a nice day.

The roller coaster from hell isn’t like that. It just keeps going. There is no natural end point.

There may be an end point for you for whatever reason, but we don’t know what it looks like and we don’t know where it is or when it will happen. So what I figured out is you have to make the decision to pull the emergency brake and get off, right? I mean, I was waiting for Jamie to just get clean and then my rollercoaster ride would be over and life would be grand.

Well, you know what? Even if she’d have been clean, there would have been a lot of years of anxiousness because addiction is so tough. And I would have still been worried. I would have still been a different person. I would still have had my own rollercoaster ride to deal with while I’m sitting there focused on hers. So no matter what, if you’re waiting for God even to pluck you off, who knows if that would happen. You’re waiting for something to change. You’re waiting for that natural end of the ride. Once again, reach down, my friend, and pull the emergency brake and get the hell off. That’s how it’s going to work for you. You just have to make that decision.

Life is too short and time is far too precious for you to be riding that roller coaster from hell around and around and around. Because while we’re riding it, we’re not even stuck, we’re typically going backwards in our personal growth, in our self-confidence, in our self-worth, in the shame and the guilt. We’re headed backwards. So whatever’s going on in your world, I highly encourage you to pull the emergency brake and get off.

Let’s disrupt trauma for good. I mean forever and also for good because listen, you riding that roller coaster from hell wasn’t just wasted time.

You have learned an incredible amount, now it’s time to use it. It’s time to get off and start using it for good. You’re not alone. Link arms with me, get on my newsletter so at least once a week, you’re going to get an encouraging message. Feel free to join my trauma disruptors community. Check out all the resources that we have to offer and just stay connected with me.

We’re going to have events coming up. We’re going to have a new, really cool book coming out. Well, I shouldn’t say coming out, we haven’t even started on it yet, but we’ve got a lot of ideas, we’re working on a lot of things to help support you because you’re not alone in this. We’re all in this thing called life together. So go to and make sure you stay connected with me, subscribe to this YouTube channel, and just know wherever you are in this world, I’m standing right there with you.